


A Distraction

by FlyRobinFly



Series: The Pilot Dreamt of a Storm [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Action, Baby, Boyfriends, Canon, Cute, Finn puts up with so much shit, Funny, M/M, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Poe is so dramatic, Post TROS, ish, just for fun, labor, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26259931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyRobinFly/pseuds/FlyRobinFly
Summary: “Are you sure you want to go to the tower by yourself?” Finn asked. “I can go with you. I’m sure Poe is capable of-” Finn paused mid-sentence to give Poe a weird look. Poe was unbuttoning his shirt from the middle down. “What are you doing?”“I’m creating a distraction,” Poe said, grabbing a bag of rice and stuffing it in his shirt, buttoning it back up. It was nearly bursting at the seems now.“What? So you’re fat now? How is that a distraction-”Poe grabbed Finn’s upper arm and squeezed it painfully. “Aaaaaaah!” he said, hunching over and holding his rice bag.Finn’s face contorted into one of concern. More for his boyfriend’s sanity than his well being. “What the hell are you doing?”“Oh! Honey, the baby is coming!”
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: The Pilot Dreamt of a Storm [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1907851
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	A Distraction

**Author's Note:**

> so
> 
> This series is inspired by a dream that I had a while back. There were three parts to the dream. This is is the first part: Poe pretending he is pregnant and in labor as a distraction for something. It seemed like a really funny idea and I'm glad I had that dream so here you go.
> 
> Sincerely, my subconscious.

Finn, Poe, and Rey stood in the corner of the spaceport near a pallet of rice bags waiting for shipment, glancing back at the security guards who were watching them closely. There were three of them, all eyeing them suspiciously. With good reason too. They were there to steal some information from the higher security tower that would benefit the Resistance.

Poe rubbed his hands together and blew in them. It was colder than they’d thought it would be. But Finn had insisted they were cold-weather gear. He was grateful for that. It was so cold they could see their own breath. Poe had an oversized cloak. Finn’s fit him just right. Rey’s was practically swimming inside of hers but she looked warmer than the rest of them.

“We need a distraction,” Finn said.

“We’ll have to split up,” Rey said. “I can go to the tower while the two of you create a distraction-”

“Are you sure you want to go to the tower by yourself?” Finn asked. “I can go with you. I’m sure Poe is capable of-” Finn paused mid-sentence to give Poe a weird look. Poe was unbuttoning his shirt from the middle down. “What are you doing?”

“I’m creating a distraction,” Poe said, grabbing a bag of rice and stuffing it in his shirt, buttoning it back up. It was nearly bursting at the seems now.

“What? So you’re fat now? How is that a distraction-”

Poe grabbed Finn’s upper arm and squeezed it painfully. “Aaaaaaah!” he said, hunching over and holding his rice bag.

Finn’s face contorted into one of concern. More for his boyfriend’s sanity than his well being. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Oh! Honey, the baby is coming!” he said dramatically.

Finn deadpanned. “Come on… you really think they’re going to believe-”

“Aaaaaaah!” Poe said holding the bag of rice as if it were his own stomach. He subtly turned to Rey and whispered. “Go.” Then he smack Finn on the arm. “Do something!” he shouted.

Finn’s eyes went wide as Rey ran off. He couldn’t believe she was okay with this plan. No one would believe it. But as Poe continued to yell and the security guards started to follow Rey suspiciously, he decided he had no choice. “Help!” he shouted, running after the guards. “Help! My husband! He-uh-” Finn skidded to stop in front of the guards and pointed over at Poe. “A baby. He’s-having one.”

“Calm down, sir,” said one of the guards. “There’s still time. The water hasn’t broken yet, has it?”

“Well-uh-” Finn was not good at this. First off, he knew nothing about the process of labor and delivery. Second, he was not ready for this plan. Cause it wasn’t a plan at all. “He-um-”

“Is it your first?” another one of the guards asked. Finn nodded frantically. “I can tell.”

“Uhhhh,” the third guard was looking at Poe across the hangar concerned. “He doesn’t look so good.”

They all look over and see Poe laying on the floor, moaning and groaning. “Is that-is that normal?” Finn asked. He didn’t have to fake being anxious at all because this improv act had really caught him off guard. He hadn’t prepared himself for this.

“Maybe we should check on him,” said the second guard.

“We could call a medic,” the third one offered. But they all just kind of stood there, not sure what to do.

Finn was glad this was an act. Because if Poe really was in labor, these guards were incredibly incompetent. “Um. Hello! Yeah. Help! Do something?”

The first guard started towards Poe and ordered the third to call in for a medic. The second guard kneeled next to Poe and asked him how he was doing. Poe’s laugh turned into a snarl. “Oh! I’m doing fine! There’s just a person inside of me trying to escape and you guys are just standing there-”

“Poe, calm down,” Finn said, shocked by Poe’s outburst.

Poe grabbed him by the collar. “Don’t tell me to calm down!” he shouted in his face. Poe pulled him closer, panting in his hear, “Rey needs us to get into one of the lower security rooms.” Poe cried out, “You asshole! You did this to me!”

Finn couldn’t help but flinch and try and pull away from Poe. “Wha-Um…” Finn glanced between the security guards. “Can you help me get him somewhere a little warmer?”

The third guard was the largest, scooping Poe up under his arms while Finn lifted him by his feet. Poe didn’t skimp on the overdramatic cries. “I hate you!” he shouted at Finn.

“You’re heavy!” Finn shouted back.

“Oh yeah? Who’s fault is that?! You’re the one who-there!” Poe said, pointing to a room that he recognized as a security office.

“Sorry, sir, but-”   
  
“I’m the one who’s having a baby here! Don’t you dare argue with me!” Poe shouted aggressively.

“Don’t argue with him,” the second guard said. They walked up to the door, unlocked it and carried Poe into the room.

As soon as Poe was set gently on the floor, he was complaining to Finn. “Get them out of here. I don’t want them in here.”

“We can help-”

“Don’t argue with him,” the second guard insisted. “Medical will be here in a few minutes. We’ll let them deal with him.”

The guards left them alone in the room, clearly irritated with this guy and his pregnant husband. Finn closed the door and Poe was already standing up and hacking away at the security system for Rey. The room was too quiet. “Are you okay, honey?” Finn asked loudly but he was giving Poe a very unimpressed look. “Since when can you hack?” Finn asked quieter.

“Uh. Since always,” Poe said with a huff. Then he hit a roadblock. “Uuuuuuh! Ugh! Dammit!” he said, smacking Finn on the arm hard. “Fuck you!” He glared at Finn before returning his gaze to the holo. “You messed me up.”

“Well, sorry!” Finn said aggressively. “I thought you were the one who wanted to have a baby in the first place!” Finn lowered his voice. “It’s hard to tell when you’re being smart and when you being shifty, Poe.”

Poe rolled his eyes. “I need to push past this little wall-”

“Then push past it. You need to push,” Finn said.

“I am pushing!” Poe shouted as he aggressively worked at the holo. He paused a few times to panic because while he could hack, it wasn’t his best skill.

“Push!”

“Shut up!” Poe shouted. Then the screen went blank and he gasped. “Aaaah!” He didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“Aaaaaah?!”

They were quiet for a second when Rey commed them. “That worked. Thank you, Poe. I’ll meet you guys at the Falcon with the data,” she said, voice crackling through the coms.

Finn and Poe both cried out happily.

“Hey! Who was that?” shouted a guard from the outside.

Poe’s eyes went wide. “Um…” He started unbuttoning his shirt and turned away from the door holding his rice bag as the door opened. “I had a baby.”

The guard saw Finn and Poe both standing in front of the holo screen and frowned. “Hey!”

Poe chucked the bag of rice directly into the guards face and took off running. “Sorry! False alarm! It was just a bag of rice!” he shouted as he and Finn ran through a hall into a hangar that was near the one they’d parked the Falcon in. Some more guards were quick to block their way. “Other way. Other way!” Poe shouted as he and Finn turned around and decided to take another route. There’s where they ran into Rey.

“I take it the delivery went smoothly,” she panted.

Poe shrugged. “I guess you could say that.”

“Guys!” Finn said. He pointed at the ship int he hangar next to them. “That wing if close enough to the roof. We can get to the Falcon that way.” Rey and Poe didn’t have any other tricks of their sleeves so they darted for the ship and started climbing.

Rey was already to the rooftop while Finn was halfway up and Poe was struggling. Climbing was not his thing. “I’m too old for this!” he gasped. Finn backtracked to help Poe only for them to start taking blaster shots. “Aaaaah!” Poe cried. He looked up at Finn who was pulling on one of his arms. “I’m cold!” he whined.

Finn rolled his eyes as he hoisted Poe on top of him. He shouted to Rey. “Go get the Falcon! We’ll catch up!” He looked back at Poe. He was still panting. “Poe, get up,” he said, pushing Poe up by his shoulders. “It’s easier from here.”

“This ship looks a lot smaller from the ground,” Poe panted. Finn rolled his eyes and guided Poe up to the wing of the ship by hand. The wing was a bit icy and Poe nearly lost his footing. “Finn. Finn! Finn, I hate ice. I hate ice!” he whined.

“Quit your whining, Poe!” Finn shouted at him through the weather. He dragged Poe across the wing and told him to jump to the other side. Poe made him go first. Finn jumped across and stuck the landing, holding his arms out for Poe. Poe’s boots were older and the tread was worn out so they skid on the best of days. “I got you,” he told Poe.

Poe jumped but, thanks to his boots, he slipped, nearly missing the edge of the roof, catching himself with his bad arm. “Ack! Finn, I can’t pull myself up,” he said, looking up at Finn as he was already reaching down to pull him up. “It’s my bad arm. I can’t do it,” he repeated tiredly.

Finn pulled Poe right on top of him again. “I hate ice too,” Finn said, panting. That was a close call. They could’ve lost Poe. He seriously almost died. Finn wrapped his arms around Poe and held him close. “I love you,” he said.

Poe looked down at Finn, smiling. He was leaning in to kiss him when blaster shots were being fired at them from down below. “Ah!” Poe ducked and pressed flat against Finn. “Not fair! I just want to kiss him!” he shouted as if security could hear him.

Then their savin grace came for the rescue, the familiar whirring sound of the Falcon burst into their zone. “Rey!” they both shouted as the ramp opened up for them. She lowered the ship enough that they hardly had to jump before they were rolling on top of each other in the Falcon’s heated compartment.

Once Poe was on top again, he leaned down and kissed Finn like he’d meant to before they were being blasted at. “I love you too,” he said warmly.

Finn and Poe made it up to the cockpit of the Falcon. “You get everything?” Poe asked eagerly.

“I did!”

Poe let out a sigh of relief. He and Finn bumped their fists together. “I’m gonna go get something warm to drink,” Finn said.

“Me too,” said Poe, already turning around and heading back towards the cabin of the ship.

Finn put a hand on Rey’s shoulder. “Would you like anything?”

“I’ll have some tea,” she said sending him an appreciative smile. “Thank you.”

Finn nodded and turned around to go navigate the ration station with Poe. As soon as he stepped foot in the back cabin, Poe was on him. Poe wrapped his arms around his torso and tightened his grip on him, brushing their noses together. “Hey, General.”

Finn couldn’t help but smile. Poe was so warm. He loved being so close to him. He put his arms gently around Poe. “Hi, Poe,” he said fondly. He wondered if Poe was going to kiss him again.

“What did you think of my plan back there?” Poe asked.

“I highly doubt you planned that,” Finn said. Poe laughed and Finn couldn’t help but chuckle as he placed a kiss to his chin. “You might have some crazy ideas in that head of yours but from time to time they’re what saves us. I love you for that.”

“Crazy ideas like us being married?” Poe asked.

Finn shook his head. “That’s not a crazy idea,” he told Poe. “At least, I don’t think it is. Do you?” Poe shook his head and Finn smiled. “However, you having a baby? That’s a pretty crazy idea.”

Poe chuckled. “Mm. Not that crazy,” Poe said softly. Finn furrowed his brows and Poe explained his thinking. “Well, if us being married isn’t a crazy idea, us having kids can’t be much crazier.”

Finn blinked, raising his eyebrows. “Is that so?”

Poe nodded. “I think we’d make cute babies,” Poe said playfully winking. Finn laughed, throwing his head back. Poe took the opportunity to kiss Finn’s neck making him laugh more. Finn couldn’t help but nudge Poe away from him with his shoulder since it tickled. “I love you,” Poe said, looking at Finn dreamily.

“I can tell. You’re very obvious about it,” Finn said, rubbing his hands over Poe’s lower back. He smiled at Poe. Poe made him feel so warm even when he was freezing cold. He never knew being loved felt like that. “You’re love is a little overwhelming sometimes, Poe.”

“Good,” Poe said. “Sith Lord knows you didn’t get enough of it most of your life. Now I’ve got to make up for all the love you missed out on.”

“Is that how that works?”

“Mhm.”

Finn saw the way Poe was looking at him, so pure. As much as Finn teased him about doing ‘shifty’ things, he trusted Poe. He knew Poe was a good man. And his love was more than he could’ve ever dreamt for. “You’re perfect,” Finn told him. He reached a hand up and brushed back a curl.

“You’re sappy,” Poe teased.

“Pft. I’m sa-” Poe cut Finn off by surging forward and capturing Finn’s lips in a kiss. “Mmmm,” Finn moaned into the kiss. Poe was so warm. Finn adored the way Poe’s hands touched him, making him shiver but not from the cold. Poe started to tug at Finn’s belt. Finn was almost ready to just give in but he pulled back. “Hang on,” he said.

Poe sighed and looked at him with a pout. He knew how Poe was. He was probably going to get jealous if Finn stopped their sexy time to make some tea for Rey. Finn knew he would. Poe was a jealous man. It made Finn angry in the beginning but eventually, he realized it was because Poe felt insecure, and getting mad at him would only make it worse. So he’d been trying different approaches lately.

“I told Rey I would make her some hot tea,” Finn said. Immediately, he saw Poe shrink a little, holding back from being defensive. “If I don’t bring her the tea that I promised her, she’ll get curious. She might come back here. Now I don’t know about you but I don’t want her coming back here and interrupting us while we’re in a very intimate position.”

Poe couldn’t agree more. But he put on a poker face, pursing his lips as if he wasn’t sure it was a good idea. “You have to make me so hot chocolate.”

“Fine,” Finn said.

“And…”

“And what?” Finn asked.

Poe tried his best to hold back a smirk. “Mm. Something sexy. But I’ll tell you about it later.”

Finn saw the sparkle in Poe’s eyes. At least, he wasn’t jealous. Besides, Finn had never had a problem with any of Poe’s other ideas for their intimate lives. “Deal,” Finn said. “I’m looking forward to it.” He pressed a kiss to Poe’s forehead and separated from him.

Finn and Poe made a couple hot drinks together. When Rey’s tea was ready, Finn left Poe at the table with his hot chocolate. “How long is the ride?” Poe asked Finn.

“We’ve got an hour,” Finn said, taking a seat next to Poe on the bench. He put an arm around Poe's shoulder. “So what’s that other thing you wanted me for?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this work inspired by my dream. I will work on getting the next work up eventually. It's a WIP.


End file.
